Darilyn McElfresh

My grandfather was an uncertified therapist back in the day. At that time, psychology was in its infancy and the field had yet to be developed. Therapy was something that came naturally to me, and before I even knew what it was, I was doing it. My mother and I went to a “career day” event and that's where the dots connected for me. I learned about psychology, and life suddenly made sense. The aspect of my job I find most gratifying is face-to-face time. There are so many hats you wear as a therapist, especially in private practice. My favorite part, hands down, is being able to crawl into the trenches with someone and learn what it might feel like to walk in their shoes. It is humbling.

ERP is such an effective treatment; it is such a game-changing intervention. I often describe ERP in the setting of a child’s bedroom who is scared of the dark. If the child fears monsters are in the closet or under the bed, they will continue to be scared until they look. Of course, they will try other tactics before that—like calling mom or dad, going to the parents' room, crawling into bed with a sibling, or leaving a light on. All of those strategies pale in comparison to facing the fear head-on and taking a look for themselves.

I have a private practice with an emphasis in treating sexually related issues. This ranges from treating people in the LGBTQ+ community, to relationship issues, trauma, and education.

You are courageous for taking the first step towards getting help. That is a highly vulnerable act. It means having to acknowledge there is a problem. But the member has a lot of power in session. They set the pace and decide what they are ready for.

Share that with me. The therapist has to be able to meet the member where they are at. The therapist is here to help the member live in their truth and be able to confidently have a voice. Everyone gets scared—that is normal.