Beyond Anxiety: The Less-Discussed Emotions of OCD

Every part of someone’s experience with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is unique, down to the emotions they experience as a result of their OCD. For some, the sense of discomfort that OCD can create might feel like anxiety. For others, however, this label might feel less accurate—and when that’s the case, it can lead to some second-guessing.

This is why it’s important to understand that while OCD can—and often does—involve anxiety, it can also involve many other emotions. If anxiety is the only feeling that someone knows to be associated with OCD, though, it might be difficult for them to connect the dots between OCD and the sadness, shame, or frustration that can also accompany it.

Understanding these widely reported, yet less-discussed emotions associated with OCD can validate our experiences and help us move toward the things that are meaningful and important to us, in spite of what OCD might be trying to tell us. Depending on the OCD symptoms and subtypes you experience, some of these emotions may resonate with you more than others.

1. Sadness

It may seem like it goes without saying, but OCD can come with a whole lot of sadness. Given the tremendous toll that OCD can take on so many areas of our lives, it makes sense that the two often go hand-in-hand. Sometimes, this sadness becomes severe enough to meet the diagnostic criteria for depression, a mental health condition that commonly co-occurs with OCD. 

That said, sadness doesn’t have to reach the level of clinical depression for it to have a huge impact on those experiencing it. Any feelings of sadness can create a sense of hopelessness or helplessness that only adds fuel to OCD’s fire.

Sadness can be attributed to many different aspects of OCD, one being that people with OCD may feel as though things are out of their control. OCD can make the future seem full of scary things and the uncertainty that people may feel can take a significant toll on their overall well-being, causing their physical health to suffer alongside their mental health.

When sadness feels all-encompassing, you may also notice difficulties concentrating and focusing on anything but the feelings and the OCD. A lack of motivation can set in, and making decisions can seem like an uphill battle. Favorite activities can become dreaded reminders of a life that seems so distant. For some, it may even feel “wrong” to do things they enjoy, due to the feeling that they are somehow undeserving of these activities.

This can also extend to social interactions. It may feel like “too much” to be around others who seem so happy and content. You may feel like you are “the only one” suffering and as if “no one could possibly understand” what you are facing, which can be incredibly isolating.

You may think that it will always feel this way, it will always be this way. Seeing a future where you feel relieved of this sense of sadness and unease can be difficult, even downright impossible, when you’re in the midst of struggling with untreated OCD. But no matter how things feel right now, it’s possible to live a life in recovery where sadness isn’t all-encompassing.

2. Shame

The Merriam-Webster dictionary has this to say about shame: It is “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.” In other words, shame is when you internalize that you are a “bad” person or feel a sense of humiliation about yourself.

For some people with OCD, these descriptions of shame may bring to mind their personal experiences with intrusive thoughts. While intrusive thoughts are not indicative of any moral shortcoming or issue with someone’s character, sadly, people can end up interpreting them that way due to the confusion they can create and the stigma they can carry.

This can lead to intense feelings of low self-esteem, guilt, self-doubt, and a distorted sense of self-worth for those suffering from OCD. In fact, some research even suggests that people with OCD experience “guilt sensitivity,” meaning that they may have a higher aversion to feelings of guilt—much like they do to feelings of distress and anxiety, which can seem intolerable to them.

Likewise, when shame takes hold, it can also reach a level of intensity where it makes an individual with OCD feel as though something is wrong with them on a core level. They may internalize these deep feelings of shame—and just as OCD grows in secrecy, so does shame. When we internalize our shame, we are inadvertently helping OCD to achieve its primary goal: making us doubt who we are and what we’re capable of.

This is why voicing your intrusive and shameful thoughts or feelings can be so beneficial. By saying these thoughts out loud, you can start to take away their power. You can realize that you are not defined by these thoughts, which can help you view your struggle with OCD from a more compassionate perspective.

3. Frustration

Another powerful emotion that might coincide with your OCD experience is anger—or irritability, or frustration, depending on which term feels most true to you. These feelings of anger and frustration can really take a toll on us. When our lives are consumed by stress, anxiety, fear, and a million what-if scenarios—as they often can be when we’re struggling with untreated OCD—not only can it be tiring, but it can also feel incredibly unfair. We can end up questioning why others don’t seem to struggle with the tormenting thoughts and feelings that we do, and our frustration with this perceived unfairness can build over time.

Eventually, this frustration may show itself through outbursts of irritability. If you’re used to bottling up your feelings and not sharing them, it can be downright scary when intense emotions rise to the surface. These outbursts can seem like they came out of nowhere, especially for loved ones who may not understand what you’re going through. In these moments, it’s important to remember that others are only seeing the outburst on the surface and not the many painful experiences with OCD leading up to it.

It’s also important to not beat yourself up for having these intense emotions. Everyone has a window of tolerance for anger and frustration but when you have OCD, the exhaustion of living in constant fight-or-flight mode can make your window of tolerance grow smaller and smaller. This can lead you to become upset over things that may seem inconsequential to others.

When you step back and examine these emotions, it can be easier to see that your body and brain are simply seeking relief and an outlet for the pain that you’ve experienced. By talking with an OCD specialist about feelings of anger and frustration, you can process them before they reach a boiling point.

How to work through these difficult emotions

If your struggle with OCD has left you feeling hopeless, ashamed, or frustrated, please understand that things can change. There is hope, and the way you feel right now doesn’t have to last forever. Finding the right treatment for your OCD symptoms can also help with these emotions.

Exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, the most effective treatment for OCD, can teach you new ways of managing shame, sadness, and anger while addressing all of the areas in your life where these feelings might have taken hold. When practiced regularly, ERP can help you learn that uncomfortable feelings will eventually pass without you needing to do anything.

Doing ERP with an OCD specialist who’s received the necessary training to fully understand OCD can make it easier to open up about your more difficult feelings and experiences, knowing that your therapist will understand them. At NOCD, we’ve made sure that every one of our therapists receives rigorous training in OCD and ERP therapy in order to deeply understand what you’re going through and to help you take your life back from OCD.

If you or someone you know is in need of OCD treatment, please don’t hesitate to book a free 15-minute call with our team. On your call, we can answer any questions you may have, share more information about NOCD Therapy, and help match you with a licensed OCD specialist.